i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
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I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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