well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
