Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize