also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Never joke about your clitoris.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
