Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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