I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
