he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
did i just pee glitter
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
