i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
