What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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