My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
