She's JV to your varsity
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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