The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
