It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
