Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
