Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
