TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize