Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
