after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
