Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
