His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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