I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
