so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
