He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
and i looked up. we had an audience...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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