you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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