great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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