I am in a vortex of obligation.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
