He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
