At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
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