its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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