so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
be right there i have to get my cape
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
