god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I forgot how hot balto sounded
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
