I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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