he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
