the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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