no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
