I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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