doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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