Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
