Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk