you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.