went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
