My brain says no but my pants say off.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
