as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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