the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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