In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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