Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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