Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
