I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
