I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
