i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
