You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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