Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
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Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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