he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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