that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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