I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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