what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
