why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
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Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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