You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
