I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
