And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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