dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
