that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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