I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
