HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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