maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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