Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just had sex on a roof
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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