Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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