i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
