White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
