party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
